Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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