Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
