what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
