You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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