is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
