Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
