What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
