Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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