It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
as a side note pls kill me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
