i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
this boner is exhausting
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
