Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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