he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
