we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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