You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
