Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
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So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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