My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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