Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize