Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
