I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
