This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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