Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
