I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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