So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
