I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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