we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
