You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
