Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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