Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize