I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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