The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
