I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
operation harelip BJ is a go
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
