If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
