one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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