I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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