put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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