we're blogging at a bar
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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