i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
