I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
