wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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