weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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