i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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