I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
