just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
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