hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
