i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
