Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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