TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
