Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
