I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
