Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
