you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
