I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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