We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
smell my finger.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
