dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
