the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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