OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Couch. On fire.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
