from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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