where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
i permit you to call me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?