Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree