Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.