We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
