I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
