so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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